Running From vs Running Toward

Welcome to Expand Your Life Podcast. This is Jc Jones and you’re listening to Episode 29. Welcome back everyone. I hope you had a great week. Today we’re going to talk about running from vs running toward. The key to your motivation.

What is your motivating factor for life?

The reason I am talking about this whole concept of running from vs running toward is because when I first heard of it, it really fascinated me. Of course, learning why we do anything fascinates me.  Whenever I learn a new concept, I try to figure out how it applies to me and into my life right now and how it applies to my past.

How I think, what results and the effects it has created in my life. I always learn something new about myself or it expands what I already knew to create even more understanding.

In personal development, you’re never done learning. You’re never done discovering new things about your life and yourself. I think that’s a really important concept to always remember.  You’re never done learning. You’re never done growing. And that’s a great thing.

But the concept of this is that our motivation or drive to accomplish something in our lives is either driven by fear, pain, a lack of or a desire to not remain where you’ve been or where you are.

You’re running from how that feels. You’re running from how that looks. You’re afraid of moving backwards and afraid of staying where you are right now.

And the other end of the spectrum would be the moving forward.  You’re moving towards something or running towards something is you know, you’re pretty okay with how life is right now. It’s not too bad. It’s not too shabby. But you just have a desire for more. You have a desire and a vision for something bigger or something greater in your life. Something that is drawing you toward a vision of what your life could be.

I think the main difference between these two concepts is simply the focus. The focus of the two are the opposite. When you’re continually focusing on what you don’t want on the one hand and focusing on what you do want on the other.

When you’re running from things, you’re continually focusing on all the things that you don’t want. All the ways that you don’t want to feel. All the ways that you don’t want to live. And when you’re running towards something, your focus is more on what you do want in your life. What you do want to create for your life, for your family. The vision of where your life could lead you.

And of course, we have something in between the two where you’re not moving either from something or towards something. But you’re just staying still. And some people are okay with that. Some people are completely satisfied with how their lives look right now. So that’s all right. But that’s not something we’re going to focus on so much today.

I think a lot of us here right now have some sort of motivation to create something new with their lives. Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t be listening to this podcast. So let’s focus on running from vs running toward today.

I think most of us are at this time more motivated by running from something than running toward it. From the many people I have come across or coach through some of the aspects of personal development, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who starts their personal development journey with a running toward something attitude about life.

I’m sure there’s probably people out there who are, but I simply have not met any. I think it’s a concept that you end up learning when you realize that running from things is a great motivator to start with, but it’s necessary to have a vision of something you’re running toward in order to make a real impact for change in your life.

I’ll give you an example of something in my life. Running from how I felt and how my life looked years ago, was a really great motivator for me. It motivated me for many years and it might work for you for a while.

But in my experience, it was a time that I wasted a whole lot of time and energy. I was motivated to take action to change things, but I had no real direction. What that ended up looking like was a whole lot of wasted years, never really attaining any progress.

My focus was simply based on the negatives:

• Not feeling a certain way.
• Not being treated a certain way.
• Not living my life a certain way.

My goals were something like:

•  Not being in debt.
• Not be in a relationship that was destructive.
• Not be overweight or fat.

I was so focused on getting rid of and staying away from those things that I ended up ultimately attracting them to me instead of getting away from them. And I didn’t understand this for years. But I eventually realized that I would never be happy until I figured out what I was doing wrong.

I started to look at my life and the things that were driving my actions. I finally realized at this time when I was making my happy list (that I spoke about Episode 21) what the real problem was.

I was focused on the negatives of my life. On everything I didn’t want instead of creating a picture or a vision of what I did want. Something tangible and positive to actually work toward.

They say you attract the things that you focus on. Well, if that’s the case, if you focus on what you don’t want, what are you going to end up with? You’re gonna end up with all the things that you don’t want.

Do you ever wonder why:

• You can never seem to get out of or stay out of debt?
• Why you can’t save money?
• Why you can’t keep the weight off?
• Why you’re always stressed out, depressed or anxious?
• Why you keep attracting the same relationships over and over?

Well, where’s your focus?

Whatever your focus is on, that’s where your thoughts are going to follow. Someone asked me the other day. How do I get rid of all these negative thoughts? And she said, “the more I think about them, the more I try to get rid of them, the more I seem to have.”

So I asked her. I said, “Well where are you putting your focus? Are you putting your focus on the negative thoughts or on the negative things in your life?”

Negative thoughts are simply negative thoughts. Positive thoughts are simply positive thoughts. Whatever you’re in the habit of focusing on, that’s what you’re going to have more of.

If you allow your mind to wallow in those thoughts and stay focused on them, how do you feel? How does that affect the day you end up having? What results do you end up seeing in your life?

It’s okay to allow the pain and discomfort of your past or your present self to motivate you toward something more positive. But just make sure your focus is set to that future vision. The things you do want rather than what you don’t want. Create a vision of what you do want. Take the time to put down on paper:

• What you want your life to look like.
• How you want to feel.
• Where you want to be.
• What job you want to have.

And set intentions every day of where you want to place your focus. When you wake up in the morning ask yourself:

• What do I want to think about today?
• What do I want to focus on today?

When you start noticing that your focus has gone back to what your old habitual way of thinking is, simply refocus it on whatever your intention or focus was that you decided on for that morning.

Just bring it back. Create a new habit. Create a new habit of where you place your focus.

For instance, you can decide in the morning to create an intention around focusing on your goals and the steps you’re going to take to achieve them. Set an intention around picturing and achieving your goals and feeling what it feels like and looks like two actually have those things in your life. Focus on the steps you need to take today to move toward that.

Remember to allow yourself to be motivated by the concept of running from what you don’t want.

Summary

1. But remember to create a vision of what you want to move forward toward. A vision of what you want your life to look like. What you want it to feel like.
2. And place your focus there. Place your focus on what you do want to create, rather than all the things that you don’t want to have in your life any longer. Allow those things to motivate you, but don’t allow those things to keep you stuck.
3. Set an intention every morning. Set an intention every morning for how you want to feel, and the things you want to focus on. The things you want to think about.
4. Create a habit of that.

I’ll tell you what. If you do just those things in your life, you will create something completely new and different for yourself. Your life will change. Your life will move forward. You will not stay stuck.

Well, that about wraps it up for today. I’m glad you all could join me. I know it’s a tough time right now with what’s going on in the world.

This is a perfect example of where you want to place your focus and the intentions you want to have for your day.

You can either focus on the negatives or focus on the positives. I would much rather focus on things that I actually have control over. I would rather focus on what I know I can find a solution for.

Stay informed. Stay healthy. Stay safe. Be kind.

I will talk to you again next week where we’ll be going over whether or not you are allowing your past to keep you stuck. So think about that this week.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast so that I’ll get updates on notifications when new episodes air released

Have a great week. Bye for now,