Episode 030 – Show Notes
Regardless of what is keeping you stuck today:
- limiting beliefs
- fixed mindset
These things all come from our beliefs. The belief we have created in our minds by the circumstances that occurred in our past and the meaning we have placed on them.
Today On Expand Your Life Podcast
Learn how you get rid of things that are keeping you stuck today:
Awareness and Understanding
- Become aware of them. Become aware of the results you are having now. What is keeping you stuck?
- Understand what beliefs you have around this particular result. What circumstances from your past have created this belief?
- What lessons can you learn from this circumstance? Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
- Express how you feel. Talk to someone. Start journaling. Are the feelings you’re feeling, and the thoughts creating these feelings serving you? Are they producing the results you want in your life?
- Where is your focus? Is your focus on the past or on today?
Welcome to Expand Your Life Podcast. This is Jc Jones and you’re listening to episode 30.
Welcome back everyone. I know it’s been a tough week for many of you. For most of you, actually. But whether you’re working from home or you’re out of work or you’re still working and stressing out about possibly getting sick, just know you’re not alone. We’re all in the same boat together. I think now’s a great time to really show as much kindness and patience for those around you as you possibly can.
People are stressed out. Tensions are high. This is a really great time to just be kind. Be kind to those around you. And if someone is not being so kind to you, just let it go. Just let all that go. Be someone that you can be proud of, even in these tough times. You don’t know what others might be going through around you, but just remember, it’s probably something similar to what you’re going through. They probably feel something similar to what you’re feeling, so try to have a little empathy for them and understanding.
There’s a quote that I’ve always liked that I’ve used over and over in my life, and that is, “This too shall pass.” And it will. It may not be tomorrow, and it may not be very comfortable in the meantime, but it will pass. Try to focus on the things you can control, not the things that you can’t control.
And what is that? What is it that you have control over in your life?
The only thing you have control over is you.
- how you think
- how you feel
- how you act
- how you react
That is what you have control over in your life. Take this time to really think about what you want that to look like and then start taking the actions toward that.
Next week’s episode is going to go a little more in depth into this particular subject. We’ll be talking about the fact that you get to decide how you want to feel. YOU get to decide how You want to feel. Anyway, that’s for next week.
Today we’re going to talk about what from your past is keeping you stuck, and how do you even figure that out? Well, now, with a little more time on your hands, it might be a good time to spend some of that time becoming a little more self-aware and having a little more self-reflection.
What are the things that are keeping you stuck today? And do those things have anything to do with different events or circumstances of your past? We often times hold onto our past very tightly. It’s a tough one to really completely let go of. It is what created who we are, and how we are. It is a part of us.
It’s not so much a matter of letting your past go as understanding the things from your past that are keeping you stuck today so you can move forward. And you can see that those things are not supporting the goals you have for your life right now. So it’s not so much about forgetting it or pretending those things didn’t happen in your past. It’s more about:
- learning from those things
- understanding them
- understanding your reaction to them
- understanding how those things have shaped your life and shaped who you are
- then determining if that’s who you really want to be.
So how do you know or recognize what some of these things are that might be keeping you stuck?
Well, there’s a couple different ways you can go about figuring that out that I’ll share with you today. The first is a little brain trick. It’s a past clearing exercise. And what you do is you just close your eyes and imagine that you have no past. Your past is completely wiped clean and you just envision a blank slate. No memories, no past.
And then you ask yourself:
- What would you be like with no past?
- How would you act?
- How would you live your life?
- What job would you have if you didn’t have any of your past to limit you?
And then as soon as you ask that question, or maybe even before you get to that question, your mind will start showing you pictures of things in your past, different circumstances or events that your brain is trying to hold on to. All of the different things that have shaped you into who you are today.
Write these things down as soon as you think of them. These will be some of the biggest things from your past that are holding you back today. As you look at the list of things that you wrote down, try to think about the results you have today in your life. What results do you see in your life that might have come from some of the things on your list?
Some of the things you could look for might be whether or not you feel like you’re emotionally numb, like you’ve just numbed out emotionally. Maybe you have extreme reactions to different circumstances or events that happen day to day. Any repetitive, self-destructive behaviors that you have. Negativity, low self-worth or self-esteem, fears.
Any of the nots:
- Not enough.
- Not thin enough.
- Not smart enough.
- Not rich enough.
Or maybe the I am’s:
- I’m fat.
- I’m lazy.
- I’m stupid.
- I’m ugly.
There is something in your past that has created beliefs in you about yourself that you’re not able to get past. You keep having these same results. These are the things that drive everything you do day in and day out. Everything you do or don’t. do.
What or who you are right now today, is a reflection of your past and how you have processed what your past means. We all have things from our past that are holding us back and keeping us stuck. Regardless of what is keeping you stuck today, whether it be fear, limiting beliefs, a fixed mindset, doubt, depression, negativity or some of the things that we talked about earlier. These things all come from our beliefs.
The belief we have created in our minds by the circumstances that occurred in our past and the meaning that we have placed on them. So how do you get rid of things that are keeping you stuck?
Getting Rid of What’s Keeping You Stuck
#1 – Become Aware
Become aware of them. Become aware of what circumstances in your past are keeping you stuck today. Become aware of the results you’re having now because of them. Become aware of what is keeping you stuck.
#2 – Understand Your Beliefs
Understand what beliefs you have around this particular result. Understand that whatever happened in your past has created a belief that is giving you the results you have today. What are those beliefs? What are the circumstances from your past that have created these beliefs?
#3 – Find The Lesson
What lessons can you learn from these circumstances? Are you holding on to something that you need to let go of? Maybe you’ve been wallowing in a bit of a victim mentality about what has happened to in your past. What is it you need to let go of? What lessons can you learn from those events in your past? If you look for the lesson and you find it, it’s so much easier to move forward.
#4 – Express Yourself
Express how you feel about it. Talk to someone. Start journaling. Are the feelings that you’re feeling and the thoughts creating those feelings really serving you? Are they producing the results in your life that you want? These are the questions that you can ask yourself to really decide if you’re ready to move forward.
#5 – Watch Your Focus
What do you focus on? Is your focus more on the past or on today? Do you focus on all the bad things that have happened in your past? Blame your past. Blame people in your past? Blame events in your past for the results you have today? Or are you ready to take charge of your life? Are you ready to take your life by the balls and squeeze a little? That’s really not a very good analogy. Sorry.
I’ll give you an example of something that might be keeping you stuck. Maybe you’ve had quite a few bad relationships in the past. Well, it doesn’t even have to be quite a few. All it takes is just one really bad relationship. Maybe you’ve had a bad relationship where you have a lot of anger and hurt.
Maybe you weren’t treated very well. That’s the circumstance from your past. So what actions have you been taking because of that, because of how you feel?
You keep looking for someone to fill that void to heal that hurt. To wipe away that anger.
What is the result of that? Well, you end up getting into the same relationships where you get hurt. And why is that? What belief is behind all of that?
Maybe you have a belief that you’re not worthy to be loved, to be cherished, to be protected. So that belief continues to keep you on that roller coaster of bad relationships.
An awareness will bring you understanding of this and awareness asks the question. How can I create these feelings in myself? How can I feel that void in me that feels unworthy to be loved and cherished and protected?
Some things you could do would be creating boundaries about how you allow others to treat you. Not stifling your voice, or your thoughts, or your feelings. And to realize the bottom line is you’re alive. Everyone who is alive is worth being treated with respect, kindness and love. You deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and love.
So becoming aware of the cycle that you’re putting yourself into, one relationship after another. And creating new boundaries around what you will and will not accept and knowing you’re worth. Knowing you have the right to speak. You have the right to be you. You have the right to be treated a certain way.
These are the things that can help you to heal. These are the things that can stop the cycle. These are the things that can keep you from staying stuck.
This is just one example of something that you can create in your life from just one circumstance of your past that’s keeping you stuck today, but you can apply this concept to anything from your past that’s keeping you stuck.
Become aware of what it is. Become aware of what in your past is creating the problem. Become aware of what you’re doing today to stay stuck. Look at the results you have today. Look at the belief behind all of it. The belief that was created. Decide on how you can create something different. Create a plan. Create boundaries around what you will and won’t do today to create something new for yourself tomorrow.
And remember, the important part isn’t to get rid of your past, but to be able to look at it and learn from it. To have a present and a future that is free from any of the bondage that has been created by your past and has been keeping you stuck.
It’s time to get un-stuck.
Well, that’s it for today. Thanks for spending this time with me. Be sure. To check back next week where we will be discussing the fact that you get to decide how you want to feel.
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Have a great week. Bye for now,
Thanks For Tuning In!
Thanks for tuning in to this weeks episode of Expand Your Life Podcast. Join me again next week where we will be discussing: You get to decide how you want to feel.
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