Episode 41 – Show Notes
Today On Expand Your Life Podcast
- Everyone has a right to choose how they want to believe. No one’s belief is better than someone else’s. It’s just simply their belief.
- Are you changing anyone’s mind when you get nasty with them and call them names and put them down because their beliefs are different than yours?
- Are you educating them? Are you sharing your point of view or are you trying to cram it down their throat because you believe you’re right? Who are you convincing with those actions?
- Instead of judging someone because of how they believe or their opinion on something, why not get curious? Why not get curious and find out why that person believes differently than you do? Why not try to gain some understanding as to how they came to that opinion or that belief?
Welcome to expand your life podcast. This is Jc Jones and you’re listening to episode 41.
Welcome back everyone. I hope you’re all doing well today. We’re going to talk about something that has been weighing heavy on my mind for quite a while. Actually, I really started thinking more about it, a few years ago when the political situation in the country got so heated. It made me really question some things that I believed. And now it’s something I’m seeing even more with some of the things that have been going on in the world with the Coronavirus, with the tragic death of George Floyd, with the political unrest that we’re dealing with once again with the new elections coming. So I just want to share my thoughts and share some of the things that I had to question myself about.
Some of you may know that quite a few years ago, I was married to a very difficult man. One of the things that we continually bumped heads about was how he believed that his opinions and his beliefs were right, and that if anybody believed differently or contradictory to how he believed that they were stupid. They were uneducated, stupid, and you know, pretty much beneath him. That always bothered me.
I always believed that everyone has a right to choose how they want to believe. Everyone has a right to their own opinions. No one’s opinion is better than someone else’s. No one’s belief is better than someone else’s. It’s just simply their belief.
Of course, living with someone that had these contradictory ways of thinking than I did caused a lot of problems in our relationship, of course. Then fast forward to the political debates and all the crap that was going on with that a few years ago. And I started to see something on Facebook that really bothered me. It was very similar to how my ex-husband (or at least it reminded me very much of how my ex-husband viewed other people and their beliefs). And you know, when you look on Facebook and people are calling each other names, telling each other, you know, their opinions are stupid, their beliefs are stupid, they’re uneducated, you know, get a life. So many negative comments, putting other people down because of how they believe or how they feel about something, their opinions about something.
I just want to ask you, what does that really serve?
Other than maybe making the person saying those negative nasty comments, making them feel better? What is it really serving? What positive thing is it really serving? Are you changing anyone’s mind when you get nasty with them and call them names and put them down? Are you educating them? Are you sharing your point of view or are you trying to cram it down someone else’s throat as being right? Who are you convincing with those actions?
And now I see it happening even more with the COVID-19 issues that we’ve been dealing with and the tragic senseless death of George Floyd.
I’ll be honest with you.
I don’t get on Facebook very often because it seems like every time I do, I read something on there that just shocks me. Shocks me about how people can treat one another, and bully one another, and judge one another. Instead of doing all of that, why don’t we do something that is beneficial?
Instead of judging someone because of how they believe or their opinion on something. Why not get curious? Why not get curious and find out why that person believes differently than you do? Why not try to gain some understanding as to how they came to that opinion or that belief.
You don’t know how they were raised. You don’t know how they were taught. You don’t know what they have been through. The things that they’ve lived through that have created the beliefs that they have, just like your beliefs, simply stem from your programming as a child. The things that you’ve seen throughout your life. The different circumstances that you have lived through and had to deal with. All of these things are what have created your beliefs.
It’s no different for anyone else. It’s simply what they’ve been exposed to.
Just like your beliefs are what you’ve been exposed to.
That doesn’t make anyone’s beliefs or opinions wrong. It just makes them theirs.
How do you know your opinions or your beliefs are right? I have changed my opinions and beliefs many times over the years based on things, new information that I’ve learned, new information that I’ve discovered from observing, listening, learning, reading. That is the key I think, to real understanding and growth in your life is continually being curious and open minded.
So many times in my life, I thought I was right about something only to be proven wrong. So the last thing I’m ever going to do is assume I’m right about everything. Whether it’s my beliefs or my opinions, or whether the sky is blue and the grass is green.
I can’t just assume that I am right, and that everyone else is wrong because maybe someone else might see the sky differently than I do. Maybe this sky that they’re looking at has a beautiful sunset. That’s changing the color of the sky. Maybe the grass that they have, where they live is a different type of grass. It doesn’t get as green as where I live. Maybe it’s more of a golden color.
If you assume you’re right about anything, you’re going to be wrong.
It’s important to be curious about why people believe the way that they do. Have some understanding. And if they don’t agree with your opinions or your beliefs, that’s okay. But if you want to change someone’s mind about anything, how is getting nasty with them, getting confrontational and shoving your opinions down their throat, going to change their opinions or beliefs? It’s not. All that’s going to do is cause a confrontation. Cause a problem that could escalate into something even worse.
I saw some comments about something a woman said the other day that just floored me. I was so sad. I, I thought, man, if this woman isn’t mentally strong, she could go, you know, over the edge with just how cruel people were being to her. But we don’t think about that. All we think about is proving that we’re right. Proving that we know more than someone else. Instead of trying to learn.
If you’re curious and open minded about why people believe the way they do, maybe you will learn more. Maybe your beliefs will change or alter. Most of the beliefs that you have today, aren’t even your own. There are simply beliefs that you inherited from your parents or the people who raised you, some of the circumstances that you’ve had to deal with over your life.
But they’re real for you.
Just like other people’s beliefs and thoughts and feelings are real for them.
I think if we have a little more understanding for others and others’ opinions and other’s beliefs, we might actually have a chance of having a more open dialogue with someone. To actually figure out solutions rather than finding one more thing to fight about. How does arguing and fighting and belittling someone solve anything?
How do you solve any problem? How do you solve the problem of people creating division? Because they’re so set in their beliefs that they’re not willing to budge.
You have to create an open dialogue. You have to create some understanding in order to come to a solution. Stop reacting. Start listening. We don’t spend enough time listening. We’re so busy talking that we very seldom listen. Start listening to some of the opinions and beliefs of others. Be curious about why they believe the way they do. What has happened in their life that created that belief? What’s happened in your life that’s created your belief?
- If you’re going to judge anything, judge your own beliefs.
- If you’re going to judge anything, judge your own behavior.
- If you’re going to judge anything, judge your own judgment of others.
- Start becoming aware of where you’re falling short.
- Start becoming aware of the change that you can make.
- Start becoming aware of the solutions that are out there just waiting to be talked about.
Anyway, I’m going to get off my soap box for today. It’s just something that’s bothered me for a long time. And I see it happening and getting worse over time rather than better. And I think we need to find a solution. I think we need to find a common ground. I think we need a little bit more empathy for others and their beliefs. And I think we need to start listening, being curious, being open-minded. Because those are the things that are going to lead to understanding. Lead to growth. And lead to change. Something to think about.
Well, that’s it for this week. Thank you for joining me. Next week we’ll be talking about finding the lessons in any circumstance. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you’ll get updates and notifications when new episodes are released. Have a great week. Bye for now.
Thanks For Tuning In!
Thanks for tuning in to this weeks episode of Expand Your Life Podcast. Join me again next week where we will be discussing: Finding the lesson in any circumstance,
Subscribe To The Show
Be sure to subscribe to the show so you’ll get updates and notifications when new episodes are released. Simply click on one of the links below.